marriage

I've been thinking of my marrige lately, giving it a bit of a critique, lining it up against the measuring stick. Jamie and I are blessed to have the marriage we have, and we don't deserve for it to be this good, considering how much our flesh can get in the way of things. But lately, as he has been working overtime at the church, I have been prone to feeling very lonely and have found myself aching for more of his fellowship. Some days I find myself going into a downward spiral of sadness and disappointment. I wait for him to say the things I need to hear, then am disappointed if he doesn't . Marriage gets hard for me when I look to Jamie to fill my most intimate longings - acceptance, validation, purpose - and I have to turn my face back to my Father, my Creator, and ask again, "What do you think of me? Am I pleasing to you? Am I beautiful? Am I enough?" It's not fair of me to place all of that on my husband, considering that he may be asking God the same questions of himself. Maybe I've neglected to say those things that he needed to hear. I do know this...my marriage is worth the work, especially if it crosses over the line of "good" and lands in "exceptional."