running at a snail's pace

Seems like this blog of mine has been pretty quiet.


God has been quiet.
It's uncomfortable.
It makes me nervous.
I want control back. (not really)

We feel like we've stepped out in faith, desperate to move forward into the things He's called us to in ministry. Things don't look quite like we thought they would. We have had near miraculous job provision for nine months, now it stops. Did we miss something? Get it wrong? When you put your all into listening to the Holy Spirit, and fully commit your way to the Lord, and things end up looking wierd and foolish after that, does that mean you missed the mark? Does it mean He all of a sudden decided to drop you? Probably not. But where we are isn't an easy climb, and I don't recognize the scenery. I'd love a hammock on the beach and a tall glass of lemonade, but I'd have to walk way off course to get it.

And once I reached it, would I really be glad I did?

I suppose the only way to live this life is to keep putting one foot in front of the other, eyes fixed straight ahead, whether it makes sense in my head or not. Run the race and run it hard.

I'm trying. I might be running very slowly right now, maybe I'm short of breath, I'm likely to shake my fists at the sight of the approaching mountain, but I'm still moving forward...