thoughts from the prayer room

Remember my friend Regina, with the prayer room? Knowing that I had some things weighing heavily on my heart, she welcomed me to it this afternoon, while she watched my kids downstairs. (Yes, she is that amazing.) As of yesterday, this is what my prayer was going to be:

"God, we can't make rent this month. I know you've provided extra work for Jamie for months now, and we've had everything we need. I know rent has always been paid on time. I know what your Word says. But it's almost the fifth of July now and I'm afraid that we've done something wrong and missed the way of your provision."

Here is what actually came forth from my mouth in the prayer room today:

"Lord. How long will you pardon my disbelief? How many times do you have to show me your hand of faithfulness before I believe it without question? When will I realize that your promises are true simply because YOU are Truth, and not man, that you shall lie?"

Provision came last Sunday. An anonymous donation from someone at church, covering more than our rent. We found out about it last night.

(God knew about it before last Sunday.)

We also knew something before last Sunday. We knew God called us to trust Him. To follow Him. To believe Him and to love Him. Wholeheartedly, foolishly, with abandon, in an act of worship. Because "love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all."*

Someday, I'm gonna get that.